Drawing a blank

In the absence of anything new to say about this situation, I will just give you the facts.

We managed to pull off another well-timed cycle. I am 8dpo now, with a case of two week wait madness slowly creeping upon me.  I am not kidding myself that I am going to be able to hold out on testing. I’d be surprised if I can make it past 10dpo at this point. I have no particular hopes that this cycle will be any different to any other; I’m trying to remain neutral. It’s the only way I can avoid a crushing disappointment at the end. Which sounds stupid, because I will be crushed, regardless.

I know it sounds negative, and I should try and find something positive to focus on, but really, it’s almost impossible to see how we can overcome this situation from here. I don’t seem to be able to find the words to articulate how I feel about all that in a proper post as yet.

Right, then. Change of subject. Have spent a productive weekend studying, pottering with my plants, and cooking a large pot of soup. I’m looking forward to my customary Sunday evening of finishing off the Saturday papers (and oh! luxury! A rare copy of the New Yorker!), a nice dinner, a glass of red wine, and something stupid on television.

Completely unrelated to anything: I’m really enjoying the new PJ Harvey album, Let England Shake.

  1. twangy’s avatar

    Oh, deep sigh. I can but hope you are not crushed.
    *Shakes fist at sky for good measure*

    Your weekend did sound lovely, all the same. I’ve been potting away in my disordered fashion too – I don’t know why, my garden looks the same (a jungle) no matter what I do, but I love sowing seeds. Enjoy the rest of it.

  2. mel’s avatar

    good luuuuuuuuuuuck! xx london mel

  3. TasIVFer’s avatar

    Sorry it’s getting you down. :-(

  4. conceptionally challenged’s avatar

    Oh Andie. I know about trying to keep expectations low… hoping you will get good news though. And glad that the weekend was nice.

  5. bunny’s avatar

    There’s no obligation to be positive, but I can’t help hoping you are getting a wonderful surprise today… And if not that, at least not being crushed, but maybe feeling like you can get on with things. Blech. I’d like to join you in your Sunday–sounds excellent.

  6. mel’s avatar

    you ok? xx mel

  7. Adele’s avatar

    I have almost never been able to hold out past 10 days. And I have almost never been able to maintain neutrality. It’s like a puzzle that just won’t be figured out, and I feel like I have less of a handle on it now than almost at any time previously.

    It’s a war of attrition. That’s the only way I’ve ever been able to explain it to myself. And one of these skirmishes (how I’m hoping that it’s this one) is going to be yours.