Dread

I was flipping through my diary at work recently and I realised that our visit to Dr New is just three weeks away. I must confess that the thought of starting over with another doctor at this point fills me with dread.

***

I wrote the above lines at least two weeks ago. I was going to say that due to this overwhelming Dread,* I had done nothing about preparing for this appointment. Things like obtaining a referral from a GP and ordering my medical records. Sensible, useful, things.

Fast forward to yesterday when I finally got my sorry butt to the GP. I was dreading that almost as much as Dr New. It was a mixed experience.

Firstly, he didn’t recall this conversation that we had when I first consulted him. He hadn’t recorded any of the details about my reproductive tale of woe, and therefore I had to go through the whole thing again. Which I proceeded to do, in a rather perfunctory and perhaps abrupt fashion. Fortunately, the wobbly voice was masked by the congested head and barky vocal tones caused by a severe head cold. Dignity restored, then.

The GP stated¬† that although he was not an expert, he was not optimistic about our chances. Well, neither am I.¬† And what of it? I don’t really care what he thinks. I was not there for his opinion, I was there to get a piece of paper entitling me to pay $270 for someone else’s opinion. Just give me my $70 piece of paper already.

The good part about this appointment is that GP actually is a good and thorough GP. As such, he thought we should run some basic blood tests just to see what the old hormones are doing. To which I heartily agreed. GP ordered anti-thyroid antibodies, all the other thyroid hormones, and fasting glucose. So this morning I dutifully went and gave another two vials of blood to add to the other eight thousand vials I have already given.

And now, for some genuine infertility humour. I swear that what I am about to say is the absolute truth.

After we’d had our nice talk, GP gave me the lab slip and the referral. As he was handing it over, he said, “you know, what happens a lot of the time, I refer people to infertility specialists, and then they get pregnant. Just like that. You never know!”

See? I told you it was funny.

*I will try to write more about the Dread later. Now that there is something to say, I want to say it before time escapes from me once again.

  1. Adele’s avatar

    I’m glad your GP is a good GP, and that he is thorough. But he had no business either assessing your chances (it’s not his area of expertise) or making his whoopsie-pregnant comment (grumble). One of the main things I carried away from “Coming to Term” was how LITTLE GP’s (and even standard GYN’s) understand about recurrent loss. Mainly, they tended to rate women’s chances as very low when this wasn’t the case, even after numerous losses. Cohen went into it in some detail. It’s really only someone who has investigated recurrent loss, worked with many patients, etc.. who will have an accurate idea of things. I wish I could whisk you to St. Mary’s hospital in London, which is where we went and – I think – the only doctors we encountered who had an accurate picture of the whole RPL thing.

    Glad you got through the appointment. But I’m hoping with heart and soul that your visit to Dr New kicks Dread’s butt.

  2. Twangy’s avatar

    The Dread is exactly the right way to describe it. The fecking Dread.

    That GP of yours could defo benefit from my proposed Human Relations class for all medical students. I MEAN, REALLY, his referrals make people fertile, OF COURSE THEY DO. As part of the course, I reckon they’ll need to do a module called IF Blogs. Kindly read, learn, inwardly digest, medics.

    Good luck with Dr New, Andie. May The Dread magically subside..

  3. bunny’s avatar

    Boy do I second Adele’s comment about your GP having no right to tell you things like this. Either stupid comment. I mean, sure, it was seeing an RE that cured me. No…wait, it was getting my guts rearranged! Twat. Anyhow, I’ve been thinking of you and longing for news of any kind, so I’m really glad to see you fighting through the Dread like the amazing warrior you are.

  4. Andie’s avatar

    Oh Twangy, I love that idea! I do!

  5. Justine’s avatar

    What a nitwit GP. Still, glad he was thorough.

    Wishing you a dread-free visit to Dr. New … or at least, many happy follow-ups. xoxo.